are you still at the devil's house?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
