maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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