I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
