But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
