he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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