I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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