remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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