I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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