We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
