she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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