my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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