Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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