i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
