im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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