thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
