just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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