Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
