Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
