somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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