I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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