better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
