so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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