As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
