This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
