My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
