talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
