How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
