You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Im part way to drunk.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
