I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
