oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
