i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
