I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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