So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
