I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
