I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
