the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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