I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
