two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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