I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize