Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
