I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
