DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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