Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
