And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
