I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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