Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
