Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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