Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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