Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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