Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
What a dumb baby whore.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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