its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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