the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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