so explain again why im purple
no
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
