I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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